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How to Ease Children Through Divorce

NBA player Dwayne Wade battled a bitter divorce and custody fight with his ex-wife, Siohvaughn Funches-Wade. At one point, police arrested Funches-Wade for delaying a visitation hand-off. Although animosity between the ex-spouses was high, the court made sure to safeguard the wellbeing of the children. Associate Judge Helaine Leslie Berger made it clear: “Read my lips on this. You tell the kids: ‘I got arrested, your dad got me arrested’ … I take away your visitation.”

Divorce can be painful for spouses to endure, but it is often the children of divorce who suffer the most. In order to reduce this distress, it is important to identify the leading factors which contribute to difficulties among children of divorce.

These factors include:

  • Losing time typically spent with one parent
  • Economic loss, as divorce often puts financial strain on separate households
  • Change in living arrangements or schooling
  • Conflict between parents

Avoiding or lessening these factors can help a child cope better with the reality of a divorce.

Of all the factors, conflict between parents — particularly post-divorce conflict — may have the strongest influence on a child’s adjustment to their new reality. If divorcing parents can reduce conflict and cooperate, their children will fare better. It is also beneficial to give children a chance to speak and be heard. For example, when children are allowed to voice their ideas on issues such as visitation and living arrangements, they report more positive feelings and less painful memories.

If you are contemplating divorce, you may need help in reaching an amicable solution to your family’s issues, such as child support, custody, and removal. Hiring an experienced divorce attorney can make all the difference.

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Paul Chatzky
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Born in Havana, Cuba, Paul Chatzky is fluent in Spanish and English, enabling him to effectively represent a wider range of individuals and families. He is AV® Preeminent™ Peer Review Rated by Martindale-Hubbell®, and is listed among Illinois Super Lawyers, which is a reflection of his high ethical standards and exceptional legal knowledge. As a…

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Deborah E. Chatzky
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Prior to joining the firm as a paralegal, Debbie was employed by major banking institutions as a loan processor and as an executive secretary. Debbie was also employed as an administrative assistant for the Board of Jewish Education. Having majored in Sociology, Debbie graduated from the University of Florida in 1980. Debbie completed her studies…

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